So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He better not be in your backpack
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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