He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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