Just took my morning after pill in the library
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
