I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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