If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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