I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
