so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
