He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
