I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
