I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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