I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
