brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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