she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
