New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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