I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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