I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
