I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
