Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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