on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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