Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
