Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
