You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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