he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize