is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
