Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
