i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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