So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
