hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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