I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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