I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
