he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
