I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
