Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
