You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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