like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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