Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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