Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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