Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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