goodnight i made you a song goodbye
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
