I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
