WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He shit in the fireplace
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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