Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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