Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
