Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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