Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
