New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
