I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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