Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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