You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
