Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
