ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize