Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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