if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
