I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
