so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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