you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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