Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
