I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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