So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
