and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
