have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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