Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you win again, gameday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
