somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
