dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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