Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
