At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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