I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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