this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
