are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
