He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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