She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
