Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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