Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize