Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
