All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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