Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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